Miles is a perfectly amiable and cooperative baby in every respect – except in terms of his daytime sleep. As nappers go, he’s more of a snacker: a little here, a little there. Sometimes it freaks me out; other times I just try to laugh about it and do my best. At first I was able to chalk it up to his being a newborn, but supposedly around 4 months longer nap times are supposed to “emerge” naturally. Miles hasn’t gotten that memo. He’s still napping about 40 minutes at a time, and lately he’s taken to waking up after ten minutes or so and screaming as though his crib were made of hot lava. It’s frustrating because I depend on those naps for things like, oh, showering, and for doing housewifely stuff, like wiping spit-up off the wood floors. And, you know, blogging.
All the books (and grandmothers) say you should put babies down in their cribs drowsy but awake. Miles didn’t get that memo either. According to these books, you should be able to watch your baby for signs of sleepiness, cuddle him for a few minutes, lay him down, pat his tummy, and tiptoe away as he gazes contentedly at his mobile and sloooowly drifts away. HAHAHAHAHA! (Insert maniacal laughter here.) The worst thing you can do, according to these books and grandmothers, is rock your baby to sleep. If you do, you’ll be stuck rocking him to sleep until he’s married, like that creepy kid’s book, “I’ll Love You Forever.”
Well, Miles has been absolutely clear from Day One that he prefers to fall asleep on a MOVING HUMAN BEING, thank you very much! Attempts to lay him down and walk away have yielded frenzied howling to the point of vomiting. And that was just my reaction! (Okay, kidding.) Honestly, attempts to stick to this policy have yielded his recent my-crib-is-hot-lava attitude. It does. Not. Work.
Here’s how it really goes.. Miles has eaten and played on his mat for awhile. As soon as he starts to sigh a little, I watch him covertly. Aha! A yawn! For once I am going to slay this nap dragon, be the perfect mother, and put my baby down drowsy but awake for a beautiful, restorative two-hour n ap. I pick him up and whisk him back to the bedroom/nursery area. I change his diaper, whisper sweet nothings, and start singing and rocking him. I’ve got my eye on the prize! Miles starts yowling and making protest noises that, frankly, remind me of a cat in heat. So I sing, shush him, pat his back, and persevere, waiting for that perfect drowsy moment.
Meanwhile I think about my tutoring scheme, or my plan to become a certified hypnobirthing instructor, or the amazing feast I will cook for dinner when Miles is peacefully slumbering at last and OH CRAP! He’s fallen asleep in my arms again! I’ve apparently sung 47 rounds of “Hush Little Baby” and put him to sleep. Sigh.
I haul myself out of the rocking chair and tiptoe to the crib. Miles starts making these innocent sounding noises that mean, “Lady, I am not asleep yet and if you even think of putting me down in that hot lava crib I will tell you what’s what!” I take a deep breath, stand on my tiptoes, and lower him down with bated breath until – MEOW! MEOW! Our horribly neglected cat Luna takes this moment to make her urgent need for attention known. MEOW! I tense, holding Miles millimeters above the surface of the crib, but he politely pretends to be asleep. I start to lower him again and —
OH MY HOLY COW LUNA NOOOOOO! Luna has hurled herself onto the floor around my ankle and dug in with her teeth and claws. Biting back obscenities, I place Miles onto the crib mattress, whirl, and hop (as silently as possible) on one foot while glaring at the cat. Miles starts squirming, and I hold my breath. I put my hand on his tummy like all the books say, and glory halleluhja, he actually stills himself! I start to leave the room, thinking about all my unread emails.
HONK! HONK! HONK! A snow plow has turned onto our street and been thwarted by a long row of double-parked cars. HONK! HONK! Mile cries, I pick him up, I rock him back to sleep, I lay him down.
He sleeps. For ten minutes. Rinse. Repeat.
haha I know how you feel. Mya’s the same way. She has to be completely asleep for me to put her down. I’ve been trying to put her down when she’s drowsy, but she doesn’t fall for it. I’ve started laying down next to her (she naps a lot in our bed) until she falls asleep and that seems to help.
I hear you, sister! Joe has never gone down drowsy but awake in his entire nine month life. For-get-it.
Now you know why I made the pillowcase mobi when you were little. You never wanted to be put down either. You just napped on my chest, or in a backpack on my back til you were 3. I cooked, cleaned house and lived life with you strapped on. Gee, sometimes you just HAD to lay in your basinet and cry so I could shower every month or so. You went to daycare at 3 months. The daycare mom had a whole group of neighbors who were so entranced with you that they sat and held you ALL DAY LONG—ya spoiled brat!!! “Course, you were only 5 pounds and incredibly cute!! I like your pediatrician’s attitude. It’s basically the “ol KISS (keep it simple,stupid) method. Yahoo.. When you were around 9 months, I gave you a little coke in the tip of the straw(Coca Cola!!!!) boy did your eyes light up at the bubbles–you loved it. Smart kid for NOT liking grits—yech!!! You’re doing great, R-E-L-A-X!!!! Is the snow gone yet??? I need a bite of chubby thigh…. LOVE YOU, MOM
Okay. So I have dealt with this a few times. And…seriously…the best thing to do (for your own sanity) is to have a routine. Change him first, read a book or sing a song, then put him down in the crib awake. Yes, he WILL scream his head off. And you will feel like giving up. But, eventually (and yes it may take weeks or even a couple months if he’s super stuborn) but it wil SOOOO be worth it. He will eventually give in once he realizes you won’t pick him up. And all that screaming will make him so tired that he will sleep much much longer. Take it from someone who has raised 6 babies (three of which were exactly like this)…. you can so do this! Love ya 🙂
Hahahahahaha! I can totally picture Luna clinging tooth and nail to your leg, you silently cursing her and wondering if you’ll need a band-aid. Yep, that’s the Luna I remember.
For Henry, getting flannel crib sheet helped. He never did the CIO thing well (had that cry-till-you-puke thing down pat though). Spencer is opposite…as my last baby, I’d love to snuggle him to sleep. But apparently mommy is too interesting and stimulating for sleeping on and I have to put him down so he’ll nod off. sigh. They’re all different. And wonderful 🙂
“There’s a Nap for That.” Tremendous.